A WIFE SHARING HER HEART AS SHE HURTS ALONGSIDE WITH HER HUSBAND
by Daneille Gray SnowdenI am writing this as an outlet to perhaps let out some of the sadness, frustration and impatience I have as a wife seeing my husband suffer with Chronic Lyme & Babesia.
It's been so long since he has been diagnosed and even longer since this illness rose it's ugly head. Before this, he was quite active and strong. He supported our family with his roofing and carpentry business. He was sharp as a tack, witty and loved to play with the children.
Now, after years of heavy antibiotics, many trips to the doctors and hospitals we are still just on the road to no-where. My children and I now push my husband in a wheel chair when we go out places. This hurts him deeply, not just his pride but feeling like a burden...then that hurts me and the emotional plus physical roller coaster keeps going.
I miss my lively husband, but I love him irregardless and he loves me. He still does his best to take care of us. Just because this has happened doesn't mean normal life stops. Vehicle problems, appliances breaking, growing grass, sick kids, death in families, meetings and on and on all do keep coming. Approaching all of this with limited health, finances and for me knowledge (for I can't fix cars) only makes this road even more of a challenge.
I am balking I know...but venting is necessary. I know I am not alone, whatsoever. That hundreds are in this same old boat with us. I also know that I am not alone because I and my family have a friend that sticks closer than a brother. JESUS! I am telling you that without Him I am not sure if I would be able to make it through these days. Or for that fact my husband as well. Ya see, I wake up and He is right there. Filling me with a new joy, a new hope and a new inspiration. Spending quality time with Him (Jesus) helps me to love my husband even though seeing him suffering and changing before my eyes only frustrates me. Jesus has miraculously sent so many avenues of supply sporadically here and there. We never know how a bill will be paid, or a vehicle or whatever fixed...but continuously the Lord Jesus does this.
[Presently,our pastorate just supplies us a parsonage.]
We, along with so many who are praying for us are just anticipating a Divine healing for my amazing man of God. We know He has called us into a fresh new work for Him. Even now the messages my husband is preaching have been so anointed and there is great zeal when he preaches.
Pray for us, pray for me...I am tired at the moment and needed some supporters out there to say my name before the Throne Room of God. Pray for my children too and for a great break through in all areas of our lives.
God does make a way, where there seems to be no way. That is our Hope!
Cause we are together!
Daneille, you are getting to the point where holding on to faith gets much harder. It seems during shorter tests of our faith that we hold on hard and then it passes. Tests that last for years like this require a holding on that is a little different, but I am not sure how to describe it other than to say it is different. Keep holding on and you will find it. I will be praying. Remember I am just across the alley and I have 2 ears, shoulders for tears, knees for prayer, and a Bible so please come if you need a sister in the Lord. I remember how hard it can get.
ReplyDeleteThere's nothing wrong with being honest and sharing your heart with others. Your faith is strong, and I believe the Lord will continue to help you all through these difficult times. I am here if you need to talk, or just want to get out of the house for a bit. Love and prayers.
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